It's De Rebels On D'Avenue

The 2008 New York City St. Patrick's Day Parade

By Patrick Hurley


As we marched out of 44th Street, we were in full possession of the identity of Client #9. However, such was the banter and quality of information exchanged, as we progressed up the Queen of Avenues, it was highly likely that by the time we reached 86th Street, we’d have copper - fastened the identity of the previous eight clients and numbers 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 and 15 as well. Making up the Rebel frontal assault wave were Larry Finn on the Stars and Stripes and the kilted Nat Fuller on the Tricolor. Compromise candidates and Emerald Guildsmen, John O’Mahony, formerly Ballydehob, and Michael Gubbins, formerly Kildorrery, were on the banner. Gubbins, of course, was one of the honorees at the banquet on March 8. Those cute Cork hoors! Make you guest of honor and then get a day’s work out of you as well! On the ropes were Drimoleague’s, Larry Sullivan, Hare Island’s Denis McCarthy, snr., and Macroom’s John Donovan, among others. Also, on point was Woodside’s Conor Hurley.

The visiting Celtic Tiger politicos and functionaries, mayor of County Cork, Cllr. Tom Sheahan. County Manager Martin O’Riordan and Mayoral Minder Maurice Manning were trying to keep pace with association president, Dan McCarthy, who was looking as dapper as ever. Last year’s mayor, Cllr. John O’Shea from Kealkil was also ag marsail - enough said! Suffice it to say that Manning was keeping a watchful eye on both politicos, lest they stray. Skibbereen Mayor Brendan McCarthy et sa femme Madame McCarthy, a native of the renowned Normandy ville of Mont St. Michel . . . what can I say. . . ils marchaient aussi. Mayoral sister, and New York resident, Grainne McCarthy was also trotting along in the ranks with son beau francais, also from Normandy.

Skibbereen’s Martin Hurley was taking a break from years of banner bearing. Having recently assumed the position of Emerald Guild treasurer, his mind was perplexedly besotted with financial minutiae: "Like, what’s new?"

"How do I grow the guild? How do I increase profits?" he repeated mantra – like to himself, as we moved up the avenue. Heavy is the head . . .

Recording secretary Deirdre O’Hea was keeping Martin company on the left flank, or on the wallet side, if you like. Past President Mae O’Driscoll was monitoring all happenings with her legendary eagle eye and endeavoring heroically to keep the ranks straight. No easy task as Martin and Deirdre were inclined to ramble. The first lady, Kathy McCarthy, former first lady, Mary Hurley and the first veep, Mary Power were also on parade. "Good turn out girls!" enthused Bob Sullivan.

In the massed ranks, we observed Pat English who was also taking a break from years of banner bearing. He was busy introducing a new generation of Englishes to the traditional march up the avenue. We also spotted Eileen O’Hea – Brandt, lurking among the masses. Eileen Martin and Denis Collins had requested, and received, a special presidential dispensation allowing them to march with Eileen’s home county, Louth. With one of the "Wee County’s" own, Tommy Smyth, as grand marshal, how could Dapper Dan not have granted such a waiver? Also on parade were former New York residents, Dubs Mary, Tom and Fiona O’Brien, now living in Wicklow. That excited one association elder, "Like, we’re all in favor of integration and community outreach but like, Dubs marching with Cork! I mean, like that could be a bridge too far, like!"

Retired airline union honcho, and former St. Fachtna’s De La Salle Skibbereen left - half forward, (very left from what we understand!), Past President Bill O’Driscoll was quick of step. Beside him was Past President Mike Dorgan.

It had not been a good season, thus far, for the Killavullen man. At the recent banquet, he had had to sit still and endure what Michael Collins would only have described as a few "windy West Cork beggars" ranting on interminably. Injury was added to insult, as Mike and the daughter, Joan, eagerly hit the floor at the long - coveted end of the formalities – yes, those Dorgans love to dance, the Dancing Dorgans! – and the first song the band struck up was "Dear Old Skibbereen"!

In fairness, the West Cork boys had willing accomplices in their prolonged oratorical exhibition. The association was delighted to welcome as honored guests: Msgr. Michael Hardiman of St. Sebastian’s Parish, and de facto association chaplain, Fr. James Drew, both of whom facilitated the divine intervention; Grand Marshal Tommy Smyth, "the people’s grand marshal"; Parade Chairman John "The Doc" Dunleavy; Skull and Cross Bones representative, Dr. Jean Van Sinderen – Law, of UCC; Mayor of "de" City, Donal Counihan; McCainiac John Fleming, who was representing a real New York mayor, Phil Amicone, mayor of Yonkers; NYC Commish Brian Andersson, the man who tracked down Annie Moore; and, of course, the usual suspects from Cavan and Kerry, Brendan Smith and Sean O’Shea respectively. Brendan was the gentleman who ate his dinner from his lap underneath the table. You never know with all those cute Cork hoors around! They’d pick the eyes out of your head! You’d have to get up early to catch those Cavan boys!

But the line of the night was delivered by El Diablo, himself, Denis Forde of Rockchapel: "Relax, this could take a while."

Meanwhile back on the avenue . . . unit marshal and veteran West Cork FCA man, Noel Hayes, one of the banquet honorees, was applying himself seriously to his responsibilities, which were fairly onerous considering the aforementioned rambling of Martin Hurley and Deirdre O’Hea. He was ably assisted in the discharge of his duties by green beret - clad, Gaelic smoke - eater, Tim Murphy, who apparently has absolved the Parade Committee for any past sins, and Past President Jim O’Driscoll.

On the orders of some of the petticoat governors, Dan O’Neill had been dispatched to represent the Rebels in the United Irish Counties marching unit. However, his banishment to Exile Island was not in vain, as he got on TV. Dan’s visage filled the screen, as he invaded the homes of the innocent, boldly looking into the camera, as if to say, "governors, comptrollers, legislators and union honchos may come and go, but Daring Dan goes on forever".

We encountered Rockland County resident Helen McCarthy, formerly Skibbereen, cheering from the sidewalk. Next year, hopefully Helen will be on our side of the barricade. Up by the reviewing stand, we were honored to shake the hand of aide - at - large, former Bronx Congressman Mario Biaggi. Biaggi, a good conservative Democrat- the old school! – was, prior to his political career, a highly decorated NYPD captain. During the course of his congressional career, he was a co - founder of the Ad hoc Congressional Committee on Irish Affairs. Suffice it to say that when things were hot in the northern Irish statelet, and politicos in Dublin, London, Washington and Hyannisport were running for cover, Biaggi and a few others, like Congressman Pete King, were standing shoulder to shoulder with the besieged nationalist community.

Biaggi’s principled stand, of course, earned him the ire of the Dublin political establishment. He was very much regarded as the bete noire by Irish officialdom for many years. One representative of Iveagh House confessed the obvious a few years ago; when pols like Biaggi and King entered a room or mounted a dais - usually to thunderous applause - the standing orders for Dublin’s representatives were to expeditiously vacate. Considering Biaggi’s tumultuous relationship with a certain Cork taoiseach - ahem! - perhaps it was only appropriate that a representative of the Rebel County in New York would offer the hand of congratulations to him on his day of honor.

We also shook hands with Parade Chairman John "The Doc" Dunleavy. Like General George Patton, John was standing there defiantly, as if to say "Bring it on!". This was the first time in several years that there wasn’t some artificial "crisis" conjured up by the anti Irish – American leftie extremists, and their media acolytes, designed to blacken the parade. Let there be no doubt, it’s a war of attrition and "The Doc" supported by the community is in it for the long haul.

In any case, never mind O’Dowd and the other amatuerish apparatchiks, Cork’s dark secret plot to take over the show is maturing to fruition – oops! Connie Doolan is well implanted in the inner sanctum as is our agent by marriage, Martin Kelly. And the piece de resistance, this year our covert Cobh conspirator, Treasa Goodwin Smyth seized one of the anchor chairs . . . and it will not be surrendered! We warned you, Tommy Smyth! We warned you!

Up near 86th St., we encountered Lt. Patrick Harrison, NYPD, formerly Dublin, looking very gildy in his best dress uniform, and his better half Caroline, formerly Carlow. They were waiting for the Blue Knights, the young men of the Xavier High School U.S. Army JROTC Regiment, to come marching in. Among the many young Irish - Americans on parade with the regiment were Patrick Harrison, Jr., and, of course, our own Cork/Offaly kid Brian Hurley.

At the Cork demobilization point, just beyond 86th Street, we came across two flat - capped and trench - coated figures, accoutered with Kerry sashes. They shifted sheepishly from foot to foot, as we approached. Yet, both had a self satisfied grin from ear to ear. T’was the Sean O’Sheas of Jackson Heights. O’Shea, the elder, is, of course, a native of Glenflesk, in the Kingdom. O’Shea, the younger, is the president of the New York Kerrymen’s Association, one of the last bastions of male hegemony outside of the Islamic world. As Kerry was not to march for another hour or two, there was no rational explanation for the presence of these buachailli so far north. Perhaps, they had secreted themselves among the ranks of the large Rebel contingent, realizing some long - held boyhood fantasy of marching with Cork, up Fifth Avenue.

Over at The Kinsale Tavern, several generations of the Skuse family were on duty in the mobbed establishment. The ruille buille was unbelievable. Bean an Ti Bernadette, Counselor Eileen, Esq., Deirdre and Kevin were sighted. Son - in- law Cyril agus na paisti were also present. Frank, himself, was weaving, ducking, hopping, bopping and appearing all over the place, ar fud na h-aite. As one observer noted, the only few seconds he stayed still was during the playing of Amhrann na bFhiann at the start of the national league final, televised from Dublin. Then, he formed a perfect immovable right angle with the horizontal.

Tom Bocht Power and the G Man were already comfortably ensconced on our arrival, quaffing the Guinness. Tom had recently gone faoi scian an doctuir but as usual there were no flies on him. As prophetic as ever, he announced "Boys come closer" and gazing into his pint of Guinness, as if it were a crystal ball, he uttered sagely, "Relax and enjoy yourselves. For this time next year, the petticoat government will be back in power, and we’ll all be running up and down, forward and back, here and there, hither and yon. We’ll be bowing, scraping and curtesying. Enjoy yourselves now!" he shrieked. "Long may the Kerrymen hold out," he cried, pounding the table in desperation.

With these nightmarish and nerve-wracking thoughts weighing heavily on our mind, we were startled by a figure, who suddenly materialized on the big screen TV. It was the infamous radical attorney William Kunstler, back from the dead to sue us. He filled the screen. "Relax," said the G Man, "It’s only Paddy McCarthy of the Irish Examiner". T-anam an Diabhal! What was Frank Skuse putting in the drink? We did a double take and sure enough, it wasn’t Kunstler at all. We immediately recognized the trademark grey mane of the Ballyphehane boy, himself.

The first inkling we had that there could be trouble brewing in the camp, that hostilities might be imminent, that there could be a "domestic", was when herself, Mary Waters of Lombardstown, arrived into the Kinsale, sans the Chinese bus driver, issuing orders to disperse. She swiftly cleared the establishment and had us all waiting out on the street for a good twenty minutes, in the freezing cold, before himself appeared on the horizon, driving nonchalantly up Third Avenue. One didn’t have to consume any Chinese fortune cookies to speculate as to the fate that awaited him.

No sooner had we arrived back at the Cork Hall, than a tense stand - off developed between herself and thirty - four members of the West Cork Brigade of the ICA . . . that’s a "C" not an "R" . . . worse! . . . (Irish Country Woman’s Association). So fragile was the atmosphere that it would even have unnerved Clint Eastwood had he had occasion to drop by. The situation had deteriorated to the stage where handbags and purses were being prepared as offensive weapons, when the skilled conflict resolution team of Hayes and Wynne - New York office now open, Rosscarbery office now closed - intervened to diffuse the crisis. At the risk of being tried and executed for parochial disloyalty, we must say that our money would have been on herself, had hostilities erupted. After all, if 300 Spartans can defeat . . .

Ruffled feathers were soon smoothed down. The excellent music of the Terry Feeley Band, and the gastronomical delights and libation provided by the Bantry Bay Publick House, soon immunized and insulated all to the point where everyone thoroughly enjoyed the night. Yo, yo, yo! Who needs "crack cocaine" when you can have "Cork craic . . . caint, ceol, rince agus ol".

Patrick Hurley, formerly Skibbereen, West Cork, served as president of the County Cork Association of New York in 2005 and 2006.